Reality is perception Published Nov. 2, 2013 By Ms. Lynn Biella Director of Psychological Health BRADLEY AIR NATIONAL GUARD BASE - East Granby, Conn. -- "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." --Wayne Dyer Take a moment and think about this. Reality is perception. Another way to interpret this is that our thoughts create our reality. This applies to all aspects of our lives. Let's look at this in the context of our relationships. What are you paying attention to? Are you giving your attention to the small things that may irritate you about your partner like dishes left in the sink or the toilet seat being left up? Are you paying attention to your relationship at all or are you living parallel lives that may intersect from time to time often about chores to be done or issues with the children. What would happen if you gave attention and appreciation to the amazing things about your partner? What if you thought about the reasons that you fell in love? What if you said, "Thank you for cooking dinner every night. I really appreciate it." Or, "Thank you for all the hard work that you do and for providing for the family." Those are small changes that we can all make in our relationships that will bring huge rewards. Not convinced? How might you be different in your relationship if your partner made a point of appreciating the things that you do or the great qualities that you have? You would probably feel loved and appreciated. You might not mind doing some on the mundane tasks because it matters a little more when it is appreciated. You might be motivated to do more for your partner. Maybe you would be less critical of things that ultimately don't matter much. In turn, your partner will respond to you differently. I encourage all of you to try this over the next 30 days. Take time to spend together doing something that you both enjoy. Look at one another when you are speaking. Give compliments. Give appreciation. You will be amazed at the positive changes in your relationship when you change the way you look at things and how you direct your attention.